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Are you sick of fighting over money? People fight about lots of things, but one of the most common issue they fight about is money. Money problems can come between couples, family, roommates, and friends.
When we don’t talk about money we’re avoiding the issue and not really helping anyone. Money is a hot issue and it does cause a lot of stress in relationships, but we need to talk about it.
Improving your financial communication is really important and can help reduce or even eliminate these fights.
This is why I am going to share with you a few tips that you can follow to help you to stop fighting over money and start working together to improve your financial situation.
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How to Stop Fighting Over Money
1. Don’t expect the other person to read your mind
This is one of the most common mistakes. And it’s the cause of many fights. If you have financial goals, concerns, or even thoughts about your money, then it’s important to share those ideas.
Often we assume our spouse, family member or friend should already know what we are thinking but we should be expressing our thoughts often.
When you’re discussing financial matters, it’s easy to become upset. Feelings of anger, frustration, and overwhelm can creep in and cause you to shut down.
However, when you’re discussing money, it’s extremely important to listen to what the other person has to say. This means asking questions, getting clarity on their thoughts and ideas and then sharing your ideas on the matter without getting loud.
3. One goal, one conversation
Try to keep money conversations focused on one goal. For example, sitting down to talk about retirement savings, investments, college savings, and the growing grocery bill may be too much to handle in one conversation.
Choose the topic you’re going to discuss and keep conversations focused. You’ll be more likely to have a successful conversation.
4. You’re in this together
When discussing money, it’s easy to fall into negative conversation habits that include blame and claim.
“My money” and “your fault” are two examples of phrases that shouldn’t be used. Instead, try “our money” and “we need to do better.”
Work together to create goals and solve money challenges. Do not go to the other person negatively or with blame.
If you feel they are the one spending all the money or not following a budget, pitching in, etc. then try a “we” approach. Tell them you would like to start working together to both stay on a budget, split a bill or whatever the topic of this conversation is.
Even if you feel you are already doing this, it’s best to say it in a way that the other person does not feel like they are being attacked.
5. There is a right time and place
There are good times to have a money conversation and bad times. For example, at the end of a long and stressful day probably isn’t the best time to have a serious discussion.
It can make sense to schedule conversations. This way everyone comes to the table prepared for the discussion and with the right mindset.
6. Face to face
Some people try to avoid conflict by having financial discussions over the phone or via email. Face to face is always the best way to discuss important topics. This way you’re able to connect, and there are fewer opportunities for miscommunication.
7. Honesty is the best policy
Money can be a bit of a power struggle. When this happens, you’ll either give up power or take it from your loved one.
This isn’t a healthy approach. It’s important, to be honest with yourself and with your spouse or loved one when you’re having a money conversation. Remember, you’re in this together, and there’s no room for dishonesty or power struggles.
Financial communication can be difficult, particularly when your finances aren’t where you want them to be. However, with good communication, you can make big strides toward improving your financial situation.
Do you fight about money? What do you do or don’t do about it? Share in the comments and help others and be sure to share this post using the sharing buttons so that it will help others in their communication.
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